My mom....and Facebook.... :)

Ma's first time experience using Facebook

A few days back I opened a Facebook account for ma. She was wanting to know what is that is so special about it. Now, following is what happened post that (Names of person have been changed to X and Y and the likes to maintain secrecy):



Day 1


Me : So how was your first day on Facebook?

Ma : Good but I had a question?

Me : What?

Ma: Isn’t X and her husband staying with each other anymore?

Me : Of course she is. Why would you get such a stupid idea?

Ma : Oh then why was she telling her husband what she should tell him in the realms of her bedroom, in the public space for all of us to see?

Me : Cause that is the new age love ma.

Ma : So the new age love means discussing your bedroom secrets in public?

Me : Yes ma…

Ma : Oh !!!


Day 2


Me : So how was your second day with Facebook?

Ma : I want to delete Y from my profile. He is a sadist and not my friend.

Me : Ha !! What did he do?

Ma : I wrote today on my wall “I am not feeling well” and he went and liked that comment. I thought he was a friend, but he is a sadist and no friend of mine.

Me : No ma. He is. Liking, is the Facebook language which interpreted in your language, means he does not like you having fever.

Ma : Ha ??

Me : Leave it. It does not make sense to me either.

Ma : Oh !!!


Day 3

Ma : What kind of a friend of yours is Z?

Me : Why?

Ma : He sent me a heart which had some romantic message on it, today. I did not know how to react, so I deleted it, but he needs to know he cannot send me such things. He is old enough to be my son?

Me : LOL. Ma he was not sending you his love. He was playing a game

Ma: A game?

Me : Ya. If you had accepted the heart you would have moved one step closer to solving a jigsaw puzzle. Currently I own 115 hearts and on level 16.

Ma : Oh !!!!


Day 4

Ma : Who is this A? Does he have no manners?

Me : He is a friend of Cousin B. What did he do?

Ma : He has no manners. He does not know me and even if he did, does he not know he should not go poking ladies? Today when I logged in, I saw an alert that A has poked me. Had he been in front of me, I would have whacked him. Rude, insolent urchin.

Me : Ma !!! He was just saying Hi to you…

Ma : Hi to me? By poking me?

Me : Yes ma, that’s the Facebook language of Hi.

Ma : Oh !!!!!


Day 5

Ma : I have new follower today for my blog, a Mr J who uses “Networked Blogs”

Me : Congratulations !!

Ma : He said he liked me blog and is following it and has asked me to follow him back in his blog

Me : So do so.

Ma : But isn’t it the norm to follow blogs when you like them and plan to keep reading them?

Me : Yes, so?

Ma : No, just that his blog is in Spanish, and mine is in Bengali? So……

Me : Oh !!!!!


Day 6

Me : Ma, why have you written in your FaceBook wall that you are going to the loo?

Ma : Well I was seeing everyone updating their every move every minute. And after you told me everything is today’s Facebook way of life, I thought I had to update every minute of my life there. And today I did nothing which I could update about, so when I went to the loo, I thought let me update that? Why? What happened?

Me : Ma !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Day 7


Me : So how has been your experience so far in Facebook?

Ma : Well I learnt that whatever I have learnt so far in my little over of 50 years of life is all trash.

Me : Meaning?

Ma : Well for starters I learnt that it’s ok to go poking ladies you have never ever met and its considered fine. I learnt it’s ok to talk your bedroom details in public or wash your dirty linen in full of others, and its not considered crass. You can be a sadist and enjoy your friend’s misery and you are still considered a friend. We were taught as kids never to talk to strangers but here we can merrily add strangers as friends and never knowing who they really are. The phrase “You scratch my back and I scratch yours” has now changed to “You follow my blog and I will follow yours”. Must say in 7 days I never learnt so much as I learnt via Facebook.

Me : So you continuing?

Ma : Hell No!!!. I am 50+. I don’t think I can handle so much of unlearning at this age. I will go delete my profile tomorrow.

Needless to say, contrary to all her misgivings, its been nearly a month and ma is merrily continuing on Facebook. having learnt all the Facebook language and nuances, and I suspect quite enjoying the ride. Guess end of the day, that is the pull of Facebook…

PS : This is part fiction and part reality

Parenting….#5

My Parents

In my series of things I learnt from my parents this is another incident.



I was brought up in a family which was not really very religious. We never had any room for God or any idol of God anywhere in the home. I rarely saw my parents pray and even if they did it was in the privacy of their rooms and not something which others were privy to. However I studied in a convent school like both my parents. Now in a convent school prayers and God play a very essential role. So as a kid, I was not sure what I was supposed to do. Pray or not pray. My parents of course never told me not to do anything, and the firm rule till I was in school was “Your school and teachers are above all, including them, and always right. So do what they say“. So obviously prayers and all were something I did get used to. But this was an incident which happened way before, I actually became influenced into prayers by school (Ideally that happened to all of us when we turned 8 when we started going to the school assembly)

One day, I remember coming home from school, when I was about 7 years old, and I asked my parents “Does God give you things if You pray to Him and does not if you don’t? So that is when my parents introduced me for the first time the concept of God prayers and said this “We do not know if God always answers your prayers if you pray to Him. But we do know one thing, if you are good and always do the right thing, God will grant you what you want, and if you don’t no matter how much you pray, God will never listen. So the best prayer to God is always be a good human being first and then God will always listen to you”


That day I learnt the true meaning of praying to God and loving God – something, which when I see the world today fighting over religion, wish they had learnt too

I wish I could write….

A tribute to some other other bloggers

I wish I could write…then I would make you all laugh and roll on the floor like Sulekha did when she wrote about Chastity Garters and Miracle Bras ……….but I cannot


I wish I could write…then I would show the world how priceless my every gift is like Sukanya did when she wrote Gifted…..but I cannot

If wish I could write…then I would give a beautiful homage to my fellow bloggers like Kriti did when she wrote Blog Trotting…but I cannot

I wish I could write…then I would move everyone to tears with this ode to a friend, the way Joslyne moves me to tears with this piece The Healing Blanket…but I cannot

I wish I could write….then I would make my everyday look like a laugh riot like Ron who brings a smile to my face even when I am sad, with his writings, like when he wrote this piece How was your week?…but I cannot

I wish I could write…then I would leave a haunting memory with my every piece like Rimly did when she wrote Chance Encounter….but I cannot

I wish I could write…then I would write about love as easily as Alpana wrote when she spoke about Love…but I cannot

I wish I could write…then I would make lyrics with my words like Vani did when she wrote Choo Gaya….but I cannot

I wish I could write…..then I would write poetry so fluid like Ma did when she wrote Ekhono meye chotto aachish.….but I cannot

Hence I ramble on with my words and write what I can…..hoping some day THAT EVEN I CAN WRITE
(PS : Am unable to include two pieces here as they do not have a blog – An awesome piece by my friend Rumpa on Delhi which had me in splits, and a very inspiring professional piece by Swati. Hope someday I can get them to have a blog of their own too)

The story of the cheating spouse….

Nemesis and the broken heart

A few days back I was having a chat with a very close friend of mine about love and betrayal. She was telling me about a close friend of hers who was recently going through a messy break-up with her husband cheating on her with her best friend. She was telling me about how her friend is going through a major crisis and low self-esteem cause of this, and how was she repeatedly asking herself, “where did i go wrong?”. What made matters worse was the in-laws going around and telling everyone that the fault lay with the girl, as she could not hold her husband back (I always wonder about these statements made, but that is a story for another day).



Hearing the entire story, I somehow was left complete confused. Here is the way I saw the problem :
The girl had a husband who turned out to be a cheater and a piece of work and who never loved her
The girl had in-laws who turned out to be the worst kind of in-laws any girl can ask for.


She lost them


The guy had a wife who loved him, dearly enough to cry even now, knowing what a piece of work he is.


He lost her


So, can someone explain how the girl was the loser? As far as I see, she came out of the clutches of some of the worst people, she could ever be with and a life with a husband who did not love her, and the husband came out losing the woman who loved him to death. As far as I see isn’t it the man who is the loser and should be asking himself “why me?”, and not the other way round.


And, as far as the friend was concerned, I see it this way, she loves her friend a lot and so took away all her pain for herself, since now she has to live with this piece of shit….and trust me, if a man cheats once, he will cheat again, and imagine living with such a person for the rest of your life.


Correct me, if am wrong, but can there be any greater nemesis than this?


(PS: My theory would have been the same had it been a wife cheating on the husband)

Conversations with my Ma…# 3

Ma and Me

This is my third post on my ongoing series of conversations with my mom…



Now I have this firm belief that parents should always praise their kids, in front of outsiders, even if its blatant lies. Now Ma has no such intentions as for her honesty comes above all. Fine enough but she takes this love of telling people about me to another level altogether. Tell her anything under the sun and Ma can relate it back to me and how useless I am at home. Its like an “Association game”. Say anything and Ma can start her complaints about me  . You don’t believe. Sample these….


Conversation 1 :


Guest : You have a lovely home


Ma : Thank You


Guest : It must be quite a effort you put in to keep it so lovely


Ma : Of course, wish my daughter also appreciated the effort and helped me in keeping the home clean. But she takes exactly 10 minutes to dirty everything, after she is back from office.


Me : Ma??????????????


Ma : What? Am I lying????


END OF CONVERSATION



Conversation 2 :


Guest : How do you spend your days here in Bangalore, now that you have shifted from Calcutta?


Ma : Oh I read,I write, I have friends whom I meet from time to time, I go out and then managing this home also takes a lot of my time


Guest : I can see that. Your house is so clean. It must be a major task keeping it so spic and span and must keep you quite busy.


Ma : Thank you so much. And yes it is. And my daughter ensures that I have no free time all day, lest I get bored. You see I will clean everything and she will take exactly 10 minutes to dirty everything ensuring I have to repeat the entire task again. Thanks to her I can never ever feel bored


Me : Ma??????????????


Ma : What? I am praising you and saying how you are always so thoughtful


END OF CONVERSATION




Conversation 3 :


Guest : Hey tell me something, I just saw all the lovely brass items and the crystals. How long does it take 
to clean them?


Ma : Oh I spend at least an hour and a half cleaning them daily and then I polish them weekly too. Takes quite a bit of time. Of Course it takes my lovely daughter less than 10 minutes to dirty them again


Me : Ma??????????????


Ma : What? Nowadays it takes you lesser time is it?


END OF CONVERSATION

My home

PS : This is a picture of a part of my home. Between You and me, I do know the efforts taken to keep it this lovely

Conversations with my Ma…# 2

Ma and Me

This is the second posting on the ongoing series of conversations with my Mom.

Now usually if am travelling out of my city, I prefer staying in hotels. Being a house-guest is something I preferably avoid as its too much work - you know I have to be on my best behaviour and all? Anyway, there are times when either cause I have been invited or cause if I do not stay with someone it becomes a sticky issue (This is India, and such things play a huge role). Anyway if I ever have to stay as a house-guest, ma goes through those anxiety pangs where she feels if her daughter stays somewhere, the truth of how useless her daughter is will come out (somehow I am unable to convince her that no one expects me to be useful around the house at all, and if they still invite me its at their own risk :P). Anyway, so before any trip Ma usually runs the following do's and don'ts with me, just before I am leaving. Following is the sample of such a conversation...

 Ma : You will be staying with people, so please do not let them realise that you are a slob.

Me : Yes ma, but you know that they do know it, right?

Ma : (ignoring my statement as always) So do you promise to make your own bed every morning before you get out of the rooom?

Me : Yes ma - Check !!

Ma : Will you ensure that after food, you clean your own dishes and try and help them cleaning their's too?

Me : Yes ma - Check !!

Ma : And please keep your clothes neat and clean and not lying around the room.

Me : Yes ma - Check !!

Me : And do you promise to help people in the kitchen when you are at home and not order people around?

Me : Yes Ma - Check !!

Ma : SO THAT MEANS YOU CAN DO EVERYTHING AROUND THE HOUSE BUT YOU WON'T IN YOUR OWN HOME. WHY? CAUSE YOU HAVE AN UNPAID SERVANT AT HOME CALLED YOUR MOTHER? 

Me : D-u-h..d-u-h...ahhh....Ma I am going to miss the flight!!! Bye Ma. See you soon Ma..

AND SCOOT !!!!

END OF CONVERSATION

Conversations with my Ma…# 1

Ma and Me

Along with my ongoing series about “Parenting” and things I learnt from my parents, starting today I am going ahead with a series on things I do not like about my parents…  .

Now I am perfect is an accepted fact. But then there are certain things I do not like to do. Please note the catchphrase here is “do not like to do” and not “that I cannot do” (hello am perfect and I can do everything). So one of those things which I do not like to do is cleaning my room. Ma on the other hand (and so was Baba), loves everything perfect. It’s like even at 4 am she wants the home to look like some guest will enter any minute. Nevertheless its a regular fight between us. So one day, I come home and Ma is livid at me. Here is a sample of the conversation we had :

Me : Are you upset? (I know she is cause her face is stern and she is not talking to me)

Ma: Yes

Me: Why?

Ma: Am I your maidservant? And that too an unpaid one?

Me: Is that a question which demands an answer from me? (somehow I know whatever I say, it will land me in trouble)

Ma: (Completely ignoring my question) Do you know, I work the entire day to keep this home spic and span and how long does it take for you to dirty everything? Go to your room and see. Everyday I clean this house and you come back and in 10 minutes you manage to make the entire home look like a shit-hole (Read: entire room is just my bedroom where no one ever enters and God knows how it would matter if it is in a mess)

Me : OK…so you cleaned it up. So why you angry?


Ma: Well I thought I potty-trained you when you were two. I was not aware that even at this age I had to go clean the shit my daughter makes. Hence I am angry…


END OF CONVERSATION…

Starting a new Series called "Conversations with Ma/Baba"

My Parents

Now some of you guys have reading my posts got this weird idea that my parents are like awesome and you know how lucky I am that they are my parents. Now let's first set the record straight. Their biggest achievement till date has been that they had me as their daughter - a perfect embodiment of everything sugar and spice and everything nice :)
(This is of course withstanding the fact that my dad was awfully talented whose artwork is still admired, whose english was so good that even lawyers would come to him to make him draft their letters, he could paint, he could draw, was an awesome cook, etc and my ma is a fantastic cook to the extent that she can make her own recipes and anyone who eats her food tells her to open restaurants, she can write poems which has got even published, she is a super duper interior decorator and has been called by people to decorate their homes, etc)

So starting today I will start a new series, which will go alongside my "Parenting" series as to how mean and horrible my parents are called "Conversations with Ma" and "Conversations with Baba" and how they basically its me who makes them great.... :P

Karva Chauth for George Clooney

George Clooney

This entire Valentine's day everyone asked me what was I doing for George Clooney. Now I was tired of telling all that for 4 years after what I did for Mr Clooney its time he did something for me.

So all will ask me what have I done for him? Well do you know I have done Karva Chauth for him for 4 years now? (For all people who do not know what Karva Chauth is, its a fast Indian women do for their husbands or would be husbands for their well being. They go without food and water an entire day and break their fast after seeing the moon)

Now of course since its ME doing Karva Chauth, there has to be a slight twist to it, right? So this is the way I do it. SINCE HE IN THE USA I DO IT DURING US TIME ZONES ...so post dinner i eat nothing and drink nothing..till next day breakfast..YOU GUYS HAVE NO CLUE HOW TOUGH IT IS...oooooofffffff...IT IS SUPER DUPER ARDUOUS JOB...helloooo did I hear someone say this is no Karva Chauth? Dear if our BPO firms can call up people in USA and say "Good morning" in the middle of our night, or call their dinner as lunch in keeping in tandem with US time zones, then why can I not do Karva Chauth in US time zones? Pray tell me why? You cannot cause what I am doing is completely right :P

Of Course I know there are still some of you complete disbelievers who will want to run me down and say where is the moon for me to break my fast? Well dear, for that I have Google to thank for. You want to see the moon in Hollywood and boom you get the moon. So before I break my night-long tough fast, all I do is go to Google and view the moon in Hollywood, and then his picture and take my first sip of water after a night long of no food and water....AND I AM DOING THIS RELIGIOUSLY FOR THE LAST 4 YEARS WITHOUT A BREAK:P

NOW TELL ME IS THERE ANYONE WHO CAN CLAIM TO LOVE GEORGE CLOONEY MORE THAN ME OR WHO DESERVES HIM MORE THAN ME?

Am I modern?

Yesterday I had a very weird experience – There is this person who sent me a friend request on facebook. Now generally I avoid adding people I dont know unless there is a common link. Now this gentleman had a common link and I felt why not. Of course half hour later i regretted my decision when I realised he did not know the boundaries of an online acquaintaince and deleted and blocked him off (but then thats another story), but there was a comment he made, which got me thinking. After a couple of minutes of converstation he asked me do I go to a disco. My answer was yes of course and he replied – “Strange cause from the clothes you wear in your pictures one cannot make out you are so modern”. I replied that I wasnt aware that discos had an uniform, but it got me wondering,  what makes someone modern?
I don’t smoke as I believe its bad for health- so does that mean I am not modern? I rarely drink and there is no reason for it except its my choice – So am I conservative? When I wear a sari or any indian dress does that make me regressive? Or when am out in a disco wearing a short skirt dancing with my friends – Is that the only time I am modern? I wonder. So to be modern, irresepective of my figure I need to flaunt what i have and don’t have or else I am “not in”. One of my favourite relations in the world always used to introduce me to his friends saying oh she is very dated – why cause I dont drink and smoke? Even then I wondered had I smoked would I have been more today? (Please note this comment was made more in jest as my relative is very modern)
I always believed I was modern. Cause being modern for me is in the head. Like my good friend Prashant Khurana says being sexy is in your brain and not in your body, for me same went for being modern. I am modern cause I dont believe that rules are different for me and different for others. When I lost my dad 10 years ago I did my best to try and get Ma married off again cause I felt she was too young to be alone. When I failed to convince her, I was the one who got her out to have a life of her own. I was the one who got her inducted in my friend circle so she could be friends with my group as well. I am modern cause I treat my mother like a woman and not the way many of my friends / relatives/ acquaintances treat their mothers. Moms for them are meant to be at home a la nirupa roy. I am modern cause for me she is a human being and I treat her that way.
I am today’s woman cause I get bugged when someone tells me I am so great in looking after my mom after my dad, something traditionally a son is expected to do. I am modern cause I dont think its great. If I can ask for equality I shouldn’t expect people to praise me for something I am supposed to do.
 I am modern cause I am liberal. I don’t believe my truth is the only truth in the world. I believe another viewpoint can exist, of course disagreeing with them is my prerogative. I dont believe cause I am straight I cannot have gay friends. I am so proud of each and every of my gay friend and am proud to tell people yes they are gay and they are my friends and I love them for who they are. (please if i hurt any friend am sorry but I have had such shocking expressions from some people who heard I have friends who are gay that I had to say it here). And I am modern enough to say that I can accept anyone as gay (except the man I marry and that’s for obvious reasons). If tomorrow I have kids and they are gay, so be it. I will openly accept it. I am modern cause i preach and practice that I treat every human as equals – i dont care what colour, caste, gender, sexual preference, religious order they follow (when i say equal i mean equal to your capability 
I am modern cause I know that clothes doesn’t make a person but the person makes the clothes. I am modern cause I am equally comfortable in a sari as I am in modern clothes. I am modern cause I choose what I wear according to the occassion and do not depend on what the world wants me to wear.
I am today’s woman cause I don’t need to smoke and kill my body to show how smart I am. I am today’s woman cause I don’t need to get drunk to prove I am “in”. I am today’s woman cause I don’t get up and say treat me special cause I am a girl. I am today’s woman cause I believe that I can , have and will make it in the corporate world, not cause I am woman but cause i am able. I am modern cause I dont believe I need to prove I am modern for every person who questions my being so. I am modern cause I can blend equally with the past and the future.
I am modern cause I dont believe society is more important than the individual and his wishes. Hence on the death anniversary of my dad I don’t mourn his death but celebrate the life he led and throw a party just like he would have wanted us to remember him always – Full of life and having his rum and throwing parties 
I am who I am. Modern for some and regressive for othes….which sliver you see of me will depend on you 

I SAY NO TO RACISM…..

Say No to racism

This entire shahrukh khan being detained episode has suddenly taken a new turn – racism. Its suddenly cause we asians that they treat us this way. And of course we Indians cannot tolerate that….How dare you be racist..but look inside us..are we Indians not the most racist community? And unlike them we are proud to be so and flaunt it…

Every other day I meet parents who object to their children marrying someone who does not follow their religion, or is not of their caste, creed, etc. For them their lineage is above all and everyone else who tries to sabotage it is wrong…So isnt that racism? When I get up and say my religion is better than yours, my caste, my creeed, etc, etc…Then why complain about the Whites being racist. Hell we make a much better case of racism than they ever could. I remember the movie “Guess Who’s coming to Dinner” where Joanna (the heroine) does not want to believe her parents are racist . I still remember the last dialogue of Spencer Tracy (the father) where he tells his daughter “Anybody couId make a hell of a good case against your getting married. The arguments are so obvious that nobody has to make them. But you’re two wonderfuI peopIe…who happened to fall in love…and happen to have a pigmentation probIem.And l think that now…no matter what kind of a case some bastard couId make..against your getting married…there wouId be only one thing worse.And that wouId be if knowing what you two are, knowing what you two have, and knowing what you two feel you didn’t get married”. I wonder even today how many parents can tell their kids this. That is a 1967 movie and in 1967 america made a movie which said hey we are racist but we hide it. Its 2009 today and India still says we are racist and we flaunt it. AND WE DO NOTHING…
Riots are also a sign of racism when one group gets up and tells another group, hey I will kill you cause I am better than you in terms of religion, etc. I remember a very close friend of mine once told me why riots happen (This was during the Godhra epsiode). He said its mob fury and gave me an example. What happened if a muslim guy killed him ? Now he being a dear friend of mine, Wouldnt i be so angry that I would feel all muslims are wrong and go kill another muslims. That is what causes riots. Now that got me thinking that he was absolutely right. Except what would happen if some Hindu in some riot God forbid had even remotely harmed Shireen (a very close friend of mine) or her family or Immy chacha and his family(immy chacha is dad’s schoolmate and more than family for me), would I blame all Hindus and go kill them? Going by that logic, then the first person who needs to be killed would be me as technically speaking I am a Hindu. Or is then the basic premise is that I being a Hindu cannot have a very very very good friend who is a muslim? So we again come down to the basic fact that we so racist that we don’t even want to make friends who are not of our religious beliefs and we say whites are racist????? Wow !!
(I want to make a point that my friend was just putting forth an argument and he did not anyway justify it and isnt racist at all). And again we Indians are so proud to be racist.
And what about when people get killed cause they dont follow your political or social ideology. Isnt that racism? Every other day people get killed for not following an ideology and we let out political leaders flaunt them. And yet we blame whites as being racist.
Now I know a lot of you will say well we cannot change others. Hence what can we do. But is there really nothing we can do? Like Gandhiji said, “We need to be the change we wish to see in the world”. I dont want to be a part of the world where people discrimate each other cause every discrimanation is racism. I know there is not much we can do, but that does not mean there is nothing we can do. I remember I took a stand 4 years back that I don’t interview or hire anyone who writes their religion or caste in their resume. For me it was simple if that was your identity, I don’t want to hire you cause I want people to rise above that. Cause such beliefs give rise to racism. This is something we have been following for a long time irrespective of how good the candidate is. In my company we truly believe in being equality. We celebrate every festival and we only let people’s religion come out to enjoy food. Part of our induction states that in the 9 hours people are in the office they will not discrimate against anyone cause of their colour, race, religion, sexual preference, etc. Our ethos says “While at least in the company premises treat everyone AS JUST ANOTHER HUMAN BEING AND THAT IS MORE THAN ENOUGH”. Maybe this is nothing and will bring in no change to the world but at least in those 9 hours I am saying “Hey stop being racist while you with me” with the hope that the rest of the 13 hours too would make everyone feel the same way.
I say no to racism in any form…Do you?

This post originally appeared in my original blog worldasisee,wordpress.com on August 23, 2009 and this is just a reproduction. Hence posting date might be later than the date mentioned

The men I meet…

Is something wrong with me? Else why would I attract so many dimwits around the world? Its like its written on my face – “Hey are you dumb or shallow? Then can we become friends or at least can we talk?”. I will of course give you various examples to tell you why I feel so (If I hurt anyone in the process I am sorry, but my brains are hurting too much and hence I had to do this)

I will start with an incident quite a few years back..I met this guy in some get together. I had just come to Bangalore and he was introduced to me through someone. So one day we bump into each other and he is like “can we have coffee?” (this was the second time I met him). I was like ya..and then he went to an atm to withdraw the money..and you won’t believe what was the next thing he did….he actually showed me the atm slip and said..”Did you see my bank balance? Am rich” (quote unquote)…I WAS LIKE WHAT??????????????????????????????????….. Poor chap had a huge grin on his face and I guess was thrilled that he impressed me with his bank balance...I guess he felt the term "size matters" meant the size of his bank balance. Anyway I had to leave immediately as i could not control my laughter anymore..But since then i refuse to have coffee with anyone who needs to withdraw money before treating me for coffee 
Well if you think this was a lot hear the next one…I meet this guy through a business forum and we got to talking. He seemed quite nice and friendly and I was like now here seems to be a nice and ok guy. But of course my thoughts were short-lived. One day we had some work to discuss and we decided to meet for a working lunch as it was quite late. Somehow the work talk finished early and so we got to general chit-chat and he went on to talk about himself and somehow the conversation steered to the fact that he was interested in me…I was about to say I hardly know you when he went on to tell me about himself so that I get to know him..and this was his story…He believes in astrology..he had a live in gf for 3 years and when they decided to marry he went to an astrologer and the astrologer told him how bad this girl was for him…and that is when he realised that since she came into his life how many bad things had happened….and they broke up…and now that astrologer told him if he marries a girl from bengal his life would be awesome..hence his interest in me…I literally choked on the food and was about to die of laughter there..but stopped myself seeing how serious he was…luckily I used to carry two mobiles then and i urgently made a call from one to another and pretended there was an urgent call from office and ran out….and i must say i laughed so much on the way back that people on the road surely thought i was insane….anyway as it happened the relationship..both professional and personal did not move any more from there…though i regret it..cause i really wanted to ask this guy some questions..1. why after 3 years of a live in relationship did he feel the need to consult an astrologer to marry the same girl? 2. was that girl so powerful that she could affect his fate and if so wasn’t she eqivalent to God? But then I could not. Am still hoping to run into the guy someday and ask him these questions though..
Hello…are you guys laughing reading this?…Please am talking about my life’s tragedies..so can you guys stop laughing and read my sob story? Anyway life went on. One day a friend of mine wanted to send me something from Delhi and told me to meet this guy who was carrying the stuff for me. So I called up this chap and we planned to meet somewhere, where I could collect my stuff. Now of course after collecting my thing I could not say bye immediately and hence to be decent I decided to have coffee with him (condition was I pay as after the last incident i did not want to risk again)..now during the conversation the talks steered to about me and my past…so me being a general honest person did say that i had a relationship before and it ended and I gave the reason why I felt it had ended..he after hearing the story went on to refute me and gave me his reasons as to why he felt the same had ended..I tried telling him that my ex was a different kind of guy but to no avail. He went on and on and on and on and on…on his theories…I finally asked him ” Did you know him?” But of course my humour fell flat on him…As it happened I never met him post that day…
Now if the above makes you wonder do I attract shallow people, you need to hear this story. I had just joined this firm and suddenly someone in HR sent me a sms that there was some colleague in some department whose wife had met with some accident and needed o+ve blood. I did not know who the colleague was and of course much less his wife. I called up HR and took the details and forwarded the sms to all I knew in Bangalore stating the criticality of the patient as well (My blood group wasnt o+ve so I of course could not donate). Of course some people responded saying sorry it wasnt their group, some saying hey we are not but we have other friends who can donate, some sent a url where I can check for other donors and some sent saying they have the same blood group and are of course willing to donate….But the one sms which surpassed every sms I have ever got was this one..This guy sent me this sms and here I am putting it quote unquote “Hi. My blood group is o +ve. But I would have to attend a birthday party today, so I can donate tomorrow”. I swear I did not know whether I was supposed to laugh or cry reading that message. I mean how shallow are you? Well that was the first day I started doubting myself. I felt it must be me cause I really had felt this guy was different. NOW NOW STOP LAUGHING..am bloody serious about this…here I keep attracting all the nerds of the worlds and you guys are laughing? NOT FAIR…Of course in his defence I must say he told me the very first day that people say he is very shallow….it was my fault I did not believe it 
So you guys are already feeling sorry for me or not? Well wait there is more..now this is something my women friends would understand more….am sure many of you have had men call you up and telling you how they have fallen for you…now I ASSURE YOU I HAVE NEVER HAD SUCH LUCK….but what is worse is what happened to me…This man calls me up one day when am at work and announces that I am in love with him…YES YOU HEARD ME RIGHT…He did not say he was in love with me but I was in love with him..and the reason he called me was to break my heart cause he realised we were not meant to be..it took me a few minutes of course to grasp what he said…(i know i know you will think by now I should be used to such things, but I wasn’t)….anyway finally after a few minutes when I realised that my heart was broken I just asked why do you think so? He said he just knew as he was very smart (here i would like to state that though i had met the guy just three of four times but in his defence will admit was quite friendly with him)…I of course did not want to refute the guy as any further conversation would have made me burst out in laughter and i sadly realised the guy’s egoist head would have construed something else of that…hence i said ok and hung up…OF COURSE WHAT FOLLOWED NEXT WAS I LAUGHED SO MUCH THAT ALL MY COLLEAGUES IN OFFICE HAD TO TELL ME THEY WILL TAKE ME TO THE HOSPITAL TO STOP MY LAUGHTER…well after that i of course did call many of my friends to tell them that I was informed I am in love and the guy has rejected me…luckily I managed to nurse the broken heart back to health quite fast…i guess laughter and some fevicol did the trick…but till date this was my best love affair  …of course its sad that since then I never met him and I sincerely hope he has met his love…someone he loved and hopefully he is married off..but I hope he knows how true was my love and how much he missed out 
Anyway since that day I turned my life only to work and old friends..I realised that fate has decided that I have too many friends and hence its fate’s way of saying stop making new friends…This was my way of consoling myself after all the tragic meetings I had…..and I had stopped myself completely…till a few days back when I felt maybe things have changed and just maybe its not me…but I WAS WRONG…..cause in a few days i met this guy online who had no clue how to act….well it so happened that this fellow sent me an online request….Now i generally dont add people I dont know but of late I have accepted a few of them if they have a common friend….so here i acceped this guy in all faith that if he knew this friend he would definitely not be crass… so promptly this guy comes on to FB chat and starts talking to me…actually to be correct he bombarded me with questions (got a feeling he was carrying a questionnaire) which ranged from asking my age, my occupation, marital status, love life, education, etc…after answering a few I was forced to tell him that I dont enjoy really discussing my personal life, so if he could stop his questions. When he was refusing to relent I had to tell him that I wont answer as I felt it wasnt really important at this stage (I will be honest am now very skeptical of talking about myself owing to some above mentioned incidents)….I also made it very clear I don’t like it when people I dont know intrude on my personal space or cross the boundaries of familiarity with me….Anyway he stopped only to start off in 3 minutes and this time he asked me about whether i go to the disc…(i have written about this already)..i was surprised that my sarcastic comment about the uniform was understood and I felt maybe I was wrong…But once again my hope was short lived…in the next few minutes he asked me if he could tell me a story and before I could respond he went on to tell me a story on some king and his sexual escapades…I was like excuse me? Do you have any clue what are the boundaries of decency when you meet a girl or cause I go to a disc, the next assumption is you can the talk about sex?
ANYWAY I OF COURSE DELETED AND BLOCKED HIM IMMEDIATELY BUT SINCE THEN I HAVE REALISED THAT IT IS ME…I attract all nitwits, dimwits, shallow idiots of the world….else how does one justify all this?????..So please please please…if you don’t know me, don’t send me a friend request..and if you meet me offline dont initiate a conversation….it will just prove you are the above..CAUSE TRAGIC AS IT MAY SOUND I SEEM TO ATTRACT THEM BY THE DOZEN  …And please no one should laugh reading this note…I am writing a tragedy and not a comedy
PS : This does not include some of the people who are on my friend list whom I added online. Its not a sweeping statement on all people I meet but some nerds I do 

I am dark…and am loving it :)

The very dark me

I have often heard the comment…”even though you are dark you have a pretty face” being told to me…and i always end up wondering…is it an oxymoron dark and beautiful?…if not why do people naturally assume that dark people cannot be pretty or attractive?
I was told that when I was born a lot of people told my parents that it would be tough to get me married cause I was dark and once when I had an accident at the age of 4..and people thought it might leave a scar on my face..the discussion went to greater depths….its a separate thing that my dad and my mom were never really bothered about my marriage and they only cared if their daughter studied and made it in life (and my dad did not want me married at all..no one in this world was good enough for his daughter)….but the fact was people still consider that if you dark skinned you cannot be pretty…
I have an aunt of mine..mishtu….actually she is more my friend as we more or less same age group…she is dark..and I would like to compare her with all the fair damsels I have ever met…and ask anyone who knows her if they can find even 1 girl who even remotely looks as hot and  as pretty and sweet as her…then why this belief?
I have often gone to the beauty parlour to get dressed for a occassion …only to make it very clear…DONT YOU DARE MAKE ME FAIR…and to see some of the shocked expression on their face which said “why would a girl not want to look fair? is she insane?????”…And seeing their reaction I would generally just wonder..is it me? am i really so different??
Maybe I am..I remember quite some time back there was an infamous fight between bipasha basu and kareena kapoor and the latter called her kaali billi..in other words referring to the fact that bipasha is dark….and insinuating she is better looking cause she is fair…and the media obviously splashed it all over…and the only thing that struck me in the entire fight was why no one asked kareena does dark mean you cannot be pretty?….and the bigger thing which struck me was why did no one question her that?
Of course the othe common factor added to dark skin is marriage ads…am yet to see a marriage ad which says looking for a dark skinned wife…why does everyone want a fair wife?? (I will put up a separate post where I will give my response to one such marriage ad shortly)..But truly can someone tell me why does everyone want a fair wife? And this desire cuts across every generation and every social class
And of course then there is the case of the fairness creams….i have no issues with them had they said i will just look fairer with it..but they go to madenning heights to say I will be successful only if am fair???? Helloooo…am successful in every sense of the word…and am dark…so is so many of my friends….so please can those ad film makers stop making such ludicrous ads? When we stop parliament cause of some tv program I wonder why no law maker makes an issue of this? I know there is a small hue and cry and hence they have changed it a bit..but nothing of consequence so far..and I refuse to believe that ad makers in India cannot come up with a more sensible marketing campaign for them….
Anyway the question that still remains…and a question I want to ask all..does dark mean not beautiful?? Does being dark mean I cannot be successful? Does dark mean I wont find a man??? Cause I am dark…and I feel beautiful..i am successful..i do meet men (and the reason for less success in this department has nothing to do with my skin colour i assure you  )….. I AM DARK…AND LIKE I SAID…I AM LOVING IT

For the one’s whose heart got broken…Life has just begun :)

Broken-Hearted

Since I have been a kid the general myth I have heard about relationships (in case there is a mishap in it that is) that the one who breaks your heart always has the upper hand..You see its an ego booster that I dumped you…now here is my small little attempt to demistify the myth of being dumped..and also hoping that if anyone of you have been dumped feel happy reading this and the ones who have dumped realise how dumb they were  …
Now tell me whoever has fallen in love..what is the most interesting part of falling in love…Go ahead think a little…cmon…is it the flowers? the i love you’s?, the gifts, the dates? The ANSWER IS A NO..the best part of falling in love is the chase…when you not sure whether you will get him or her….Isn’t it?…I mean the thrill of the chase or being chased is something the best of romances cannot compete with….Am I not correct?
 So the first theory for the people whose heart got broken…Rejoice…cause now you can find a new love…cause without an ending there can be no new beginning ..Hell with the old…new love here I come
Now for the next…if you are a man I assure you women don’t like men who dump their women..makes them jittery..what if he dumps me?…and if you are a woman..a man likes to be in control..so if he hears you have dumped..its a general (mis)conception that you were in control…So tough for both sexes to find the next one…and if you cannot find the next one then why dump at all? It contradicts my first theory 
So the second theory is never ever ever ever dump someone…..It always fails
So then what does one do if one wants to be out…simple get dumped…now by the time you are in a relationship am sure you would know the person’s likes and dislikes and I am sure you would know that one thing he / she dislikes which if they find out you have done will sure end up in them dumping you….So do that !!! Now this also has an added advantage…when you are the dumped party you always get the sympathies…have you ever heard sympathies go to the person who has dumped or have they always got the brickbats?…and nothing gets you your next love faster than finding out that you an aggrieved party…men love taking care of such women and women love the idea that he stuck on with such a bad girl (makes them feel hey I can be normal with him and still not get dumped )…so you see you win…
So the theory number three is..when you want to be out..do something which will make the opposite party dump you…and boom you are in the reckoning again
So apply the above three rules and see how your broken heart mends….remember every cloud has a silver lining..and yours has just begun  ..and remember always…dumb people dump…smart people get dumped..so which one are you?
Terms of Reading this Posting : 1.The writer (that is me of course) takes no responsibility of the consequences that will follow if you follow this theory..Please do it at your own risk
2. The writer (that is volia me again) does not give you the authority to sue me cause of any accident that happens cause of this. But just in case you still want to, I can only allow you to do so if you hire my firm to fight your case (you see I run a LPO as well and its good money if my lawyers can fight and I get commission)
3. The comments above does not in any way reflect the writer’s (that is once again me) life and its outcomes. Hell who said one has to practice what one preaches 

My response to 90% of the marriage ads

Marriage Ads in Portals

Has anyone ever gone through marriage ads? Most men have standard requirements which are the following :

1. Fair bride (they can be dark as coal but wife dear has to be fair)
2. Sharp Features (its a different thing that their features have never known the word sharp)
3. Love my family (and dont expect them to love yours or for that matter even their own)
 4. Long Hair (They can be bald but you lady need to have long hair. Balancing act you see)
5. You need to cook very well (now you see if he is marrying he will do away with the maid, right?)
6. Educated (Degrees mean a lot specially to bong guys)
7. Young (They could be in their 50s but the girl needs to be in her early 20s)
And of coure they need to know the girl’s caste and many want my horoscope (and this even applies to all so called modern people who will otherwise write how caste system is wrong but when it comes to marriage wants to match all that). One would of course imagine that with such perfect matching none of those marriages ever can fail and most are match made in heaven but that is not always the case. Anyway thats a topic for another day.
Now lets look at the other party in the marriage viz : the women. Now women are simple and straight in all ads. They don’t have any such criteria. They are simple. THEY ARE JUST PERFECT. Every woman is beautiful (ignore the attached pic in case of marriage portal, as they were clicked on a very bad day), they can cook so well that chefs will feel ashamed, they are brilliant in studies and great at outdoor as wel as indoor work. And they will love your parents, will live on love and fresh air. Basically they are what God calls Angels.
Now seeing all these perfect women and the demands of the men I realised if I put up an ad, I will get nothing.  I mean God made me perfect but more like perfectly imperfect. How could I ever compete with such perfection I ever wondered. But nevertheless once ma (in one of her crazy ideas) said I need to marry either one of the men I knew or find someone for myself. Else she will get me married off. Now I did not want to ruin the lives of men I knew (they were friends after all and no matter how great I think I am and how much I love myself I will always feel sorry for the man who marries me), and neither did I want my mom looking for someone for me and then being blamed by my in laws that she got me married to them. So I said I will do the needful and this is the ad I put up.
AD :
Hi Prospective Grooms, Please stop here and look at me. I am desperate for marriage as ma says she cannot tolerate me anymore at home (Its a different thing that few days later you too will say the same thing). So please go through my profile and at least tell me you want to marry me even if you don’t. Anyway here is some details about me.
Well I am a wonderful girl. I am beautiful, attractive, nice, smart, intelligent, pretty – you can say adjectives fail me. I weigh around 100 kgs (but do not consider me fat – i am what you could say less thin), i am 4 ft 5 inches (but do not consider me short – i am less tall), i am black (you cannot find me in the night they say). My hair is wonderful. Basically i am bald and hence I use wonderful wigs – so you want long and silky, short & croppy, whatever. I can have that hair. (Now isn’t that a bonus. How many men can boast of wives who has hair of every type to suit every mood). My eyes put aishwarya’s to shame – only problem is you need a microscope to find it. My nose is the best part of my body – its like a road which suddenly took an u turn (You getting the picture right?) I wanted to go to the Ms Universe Contest but my family felt that others would have a inferiority complex and hence did not allow me to. Your good luck cause now me here and you can marry me !!
My other qualities – well i can cook. I mean I tried to make tea once but it tasted like ditch water. After that i never cooked. But I am sure if you want I can cook some burnt food for you. I am educated. I did pass some class some time – was it class V or was it class VI? I do not remember. Oh sorry I did appear for matriculation. Now class X exams come after class V right? Ok its a separate point that I did not pass. But so what? Lets say I am matric appeared (MA). Now that sounds like a degree, right?
My age – I am sure you are not that indecent to ask a girl her age. No one seems to have taught you any manners. Well lets say i am not very young.
My family says i am god’s gift to mankind. Any man who marries me would start praying to god that very day that I disappear from their life. So any man who does not pray much – God would gift me to them so they start praying.
Anyway here is my bio-data :
Name : Whats in a name ? Kalidas said that – so why bother telling you..or was it shakespeare??? ..well what the hell..what’s in their name too..
Age : I just said its indecent to ask a girl her age.Ok let me say I am 18+ ..that’s the legal age to marry right? Now don’t ask me how many plusses after 18…that me not telling
Caste : Don’t you know caste system has been abolished, you regressive men !!!!! How dare you ask someone this. I would put you behind bars for this.
Income : I am marrying so that my husband can earn for me, not the other way round.
Bank Balance : If I had any, why would I think of marrying you? And remember always your money is my money and my money is ALSO MY MONEY..Don’t you dare think of it as yours
Horoscope : Send me yours and I will send you back one which matches yours completely. Now what do they say in hindi “Chattis gun milenge”. Happy aren’t you?
My family : We are about a 100 member stong household. My husband would have to support them too. And please I cannot love your family like my own. Its tough enough loving them. And any case didn’t Karan Johar say “Its all about loving your parents”. He never said “its all about loving your husband’s parents”
Education : I can read & write
Habits : I drink like a fish, smoke like a chimney
Secret desire : To beat my husband black and blue every night.
Favourite Movie : She devil..I love it
My wish: To marry a man who can give me the 3 Ms – Money, Mercedes and Mansion.
My dream man : A guy who is dumb and a billionaire. And who can give me the 3Ms.
IF YOU FEEL YOU FIT INTO MY CATEGORY OF A PERFECT MAN PLEASE DO CONTACT ME AND WE CAN THEN DISCUSS THE FINANCIALS (hello you thought you will marry me without spending any penny on me is it? Now now it isn’t dowry, its lets say what they call proof of your love for me. Now I cannot marry unless you love me right? And You need to prove your love. Hence)
Needless to say all thought my honesty to be madness but such was life. I mean tell me something women do marry for social security and what is social security if you dont give me money and look after me and my needs? But no, if I say it am bad. Anyway sad thing is no one really agreed to marry me seeing this but so what? But then like I always says…Your loss dear….  

WHEN INTO THAT HEAVEN OF FREEDOM, WILL MY FATHER, MY COUNTRY AWAKE?

Today when YSR’s death loomed large over India, the one common comment I heard from a lot of people  is He was a good CM. He did make his money but he did a lot for people and it got me thinking, have we become so immune to corruption that we feel if politcians work for us we can forgive their corruption. Before I proceed further, I would like to make it clear that am not making any aspersion on Mr Reddy and do hope his soul rests in peace. But the fact remains that as common people we are immune to corruption?

There is a common saying in India, that you cannot be in politics if you are not corrupt. And yet every Indian blindly agrees that our PM who is the highest post holder of our democratic system (Presidency is not part of the elected system) is incorruptable. Dr Manmohan even after so many years in office holds the same esteem he held when he started his journey. So doesn’t that mean that if we want we can remain clean even in the most corrupt systems? Then why are so ready to accept corruption in our lives? Why can we not say no matter what good you have done, corruption will not be tolerated?
Corruption isn’t only about money. Corruption can be about power. Our erstwhile US President Mr George Bush was so corrupted that he felt his favourite pastime was to wage wars so that all can say how invincible America is. And so convinced were people that he could save them that many americans voted him back for a second time, forgiving his sins, even though most americans felt he was completely wrong in fighting war specially in Iraq. Thankfully they decided they will say no to his corruption of power and voted the democrats back to power this time and the basic underlying theory behind this presidential election was they said no to corruption – Corruption of power.
Corruption can also be a form of bigotry – something we see so prevalent in India. Yes Mr Modi, our chief minsiter from Gujerat has done a lot for his state and in spite of my sheer disrespect for him I will still accept that and admire it. But does that mean we forgive him for the sheer disrespect he shows to all muslims including justifying the riots? Is development enough to justify that corruption? And if not, then why are we not getting up and saying no matter what good you have done, you are corrupt and I will not vote for you.
And then of course there is corruption of money. Most politcians and bureaucrats in India has money beyond their reasonable means of income and yet we don’t question them. We don’t ask how a LK Advani has such wealth or how a Rahul Gandhi became richer in last 5 years with new shops? We don’t ask how come the police officers have bungalows which are way way beyond their any known source of income. We tolerate it and if they by chance do some good work, we say hey that’s ok. He at least did some good work, as if doing that good work was so unexpected of him. Actually doing any work for which he was getting salary was so unexpected of him.
And of course there is corruption of authority. Our every politician feels they are our Lord and Master. I saw a news the other day where the Rajasthan Govt actually passed an order saying one needs to pay our respect to every MP and MLA who they meet and their were definite guidelines as to what constituted respect. That too is corruption. In a country which is reeling under drought and all politicans find every reason to fight with each other for every reason under the sun, in Karnataka the one bill which got passed without even the slightest of fights was the Bill which increased every politcian’s income by 200% minimum. That too is corruption. For every time that the MPs and MLAs stage a walk out of the parliament and not work, they waste our (the tax payer’s money). That too is corruption. And yet we silently accept it as that is what we are used to.
When will a day come when we say no to corruption? When we get up and say NO MATTER WHAT GOOD YOU DO, I WILL NOT TOLERATE CORRUPTION? When will a day come when we say we wont give bribes, and let me see what you can do? When will a day come when we say we won’t tolerate corruption and will exercise our democratic powers to say no to such corrupt people who stand for elections? When will we realise that politicans and bureacrats doing their work well is nothing great but that is their job and the reason why we elected them and pay their salaries and does not justify corruption. When will the day come “WHEN INTO THAT HEAVEN OF FREEDOM, MY FATHER, WILL MY COUNTRY AWAKE?”


Note : This post originally appeared in my original blog worldasisee,wordpress.com on September 04, 2010 and this is just a reproduction. Hence posting date might be later than the date mentioned

Marxism and the Corporate World

Marxism in Corporate World

Being born in a communist family I was always educated about the marxism and what Karl Marx taught about socialism. Somehow as an youngster i sort of equated socialism with being poor, the right to strike, the right not to work and still demand wages, etc. As I grew up I of course realised that I was wrong but I used to be still intrigued as to why most communist leaders used to oppose anything which would mean profits. Was Profit such a bad word? Did Karl Marx really say being rich was being bad? Why was making profits such a bad thing? Why was communism in my state equated with anti business? Why was it said that communism killed the work culture? And that is when I got to actually doing some fact finding myself about what Karl Marx actually said. What Marx actually said was that wealth of a company belonged to its workers and compensation depended on his value brought into the company. But tell me how can a company be wealthy if its workers are on strike. How can a company be wealthy if people do not work and consider a right to still be employed a birthright? Now Marx never said be lazy, did he? I once remember ages ago hearing an interview of a marxist labour union leader from West Bengal who said he had met a labour union leader in China. Apparently during his meeting it came out that his Chinese counterpart was agitating against the management cause of some treatment meted out to an employee. Of course the gentleman in question asked his Chinese friend why were they not going on a strike and I still remember what his Chinese counterpart had said “I am a labour union leader. If there is no labour being done then what am I a leader of? I will protest but stopping work is not the way of doing it.” Those words struck me even then and yet I saw my state lumbering its way through countless strikes and corporates moving away. Not one labour union leader realised that wealth cannot be distributed unless wealth is created. Some say Karl Marx’s theory is redundant in today’s world. But I feel its the most relevant in the world of today. If an employee’s pay is directly related to the welfare of the firm then both will be profitable. If every employee is a stake holder, then before going on strikes . If every employee is a stake holder then every employee will think twice before being lazy at work. If every employee’s benefit’s depended on the company’s welfare they would think a million times before they force a firm to accept an errant employee back as that errant employee would result in the company’s profit margin coming down. After all the end intention is to distribute wealth and unless its created it can never be distributed. And Karl Marx never said don’t be rich. Infosys is one of the greatest example of the above theory being a success. They created wealth and they distributed it among its employees. But you see nothing in this world came free. Hence each employee was made a stakeholder of that company. So if you want the wealth you have to work for it. The fruits of labour cannot come unless you have a stake in that business. I know many people will say this is simplifying the entire problem. Maybe it is. But its still better than the world where I came from where communism became synonym with strikes and laziness. And its certainly a start to ending the never ending enmity that capitalism and communism cannot co-exist. In today’s world the only way ahead is a synergy of both the thoughts. One needs to reinvent the wheel today if one has to survive and if communism has to survive in India, it has to befriend the corporate world and accept that making money is not all that bad.

The News Media needs a dictionary ..Please contribute

The Indian News Media

When I was a kid I used to hear my dad say that he had learnt English listening to English News on the Radio and reading the Statesman. He was quite sure English Media could teach any kid English. Now I too had the same idea that if I ever have kids they too will read the English newspaper and watch the news (radio being a defunct medium now at least for news broadcast) to learn the Queen’s language till I started following their reporting of late. And I felt if anything they need the dictionary first.

Let me elaborate my point with examples. If all of you recall sometime back there was a major controversy with Varun Gandhi making comments regarding the Muslim community. Now of course the media instead of ignoring that jerk, decided to give him all the media space he could have asked for in his entire lifetime, of course in the name of holding up the truth. Now here comes the fun of it. Priyanka Gandhi had gone for some election rally when she was constantly asked by journalists about what she felt about her estranged cousin’s remarks. First she avoided and then like any normal decent human being she commented saying it was not something she was taught as and of course the blah blah comments on how the Gandhi family was taught otherwise, etc. She did not criticise, shout, or do anything but simply commented that it was not her philosophy and that too on being asked. Now I watched the news that day all day. So here she was giving a live interview, that too on being questioned incessantly but what is the coverage we get half hour later in all news channels. “PRIYANKA GANDHI SLAMS HER COUSIN”. Now the OED defines Slam as censuring someone harshly or forcefully. Now under no circumstances did she even censure the man cause she was quite clear it was not her job. So how did the word “slam” get attached to it? Did someone here mention the word TRP? Please we are talking of the honest media here. The 4th estate. And how can you demean it by saying TRP? They are not here for business but for telling us the truth. Please understand that in their busy schedule they forgot to buy an OED for themselves and hence the honest mistake.
Now let’s go to another example. How many of us have see the word “breaking news” flashing across your screen all day in all news channel. Now the OED dfines “breaking news” as a news which is just flashed. Now you must admit that rarely does news happen 24 hour which can be broken into the media. And a news cannot be called breaking news if its 2 hours old. Now again did someone say eyeballs, viewership, etc? Tsk tsk. No. Those poor people do not have the dictionary with them. So the mistake. If only someone told them that it should be flashed as news update, they would have, but poor guys do not know the same.
Now if you think am only saying people in the audio visual media need the OED you are wrong. Even the poor print guys need a dictionary. Let me give you another instance of the poor language being misused. Am sure all of you guys are quite used to controversy relating to MOS Mr Shashi Tharoor. Now poor man being part of the UN, etc uses too much of the queen’s language not understanding that the Indian media has no clue about the same. Poor chaps tweets about cattle class. Now cattle class is a word coined by the Americans to define economy class travel and has nothing to do with the word cattle, same as barking up a tree does not call one a dog. But our ignorant media of course had headlines the next day “Shashi Tharoor calls Indian masses cattle”. Poor chap had he said Indian people leads a dog’s life I can just imagine the report. “MOS Tharoor calls Indian middle class dog” Anyway now as tragedy happened some smart alec brought it to their notice that what cattle class really meant. So then they went running to the Congress for some comments and those people not knowing what hit them, had to say they do not accept such comments. Now next came the report “Congress rebukes Tharoor”. Now firstly your lack of the knowledhe of the language creates a controversy and then you create a further controversy by asking people for comments and then saying they are rebuked and then taking the high moral ground stating why don’t politcians have a sense of humour or know the language?
Now Please don’t say our 4th estate is corrupt and they did this just to sensationalise the news and create news when they had none. How many times do I need to remind you its all cause they do not have the knowledge.
Now I know a lot of you cynics will say all this is done for TRP, money, eyeballs, etc, etc but I honestly still feel its cause they do not have a dictionary with them. Hence I would like to contribute to them. I will admit I am doing so for my own selfish reasons as tomorrow when I have kids, I want one headache less. At least the media can do the job of teaching them English like my dad learnt, and anyone who knew him will admit that his hold on the language was par excellence. For all those who agree with me, PLEASE PLEASE DO CONTRIBUTE. All contributions towards this noble cause will grant you a place in the history for saving the English language.
PS : Same applies for all vernacular language and hence please contribute generosuly for them too.

Let debate remain a debate…all in favour vote aye

A few days back I had posted an article on marxism and how corporates can make use of the same. Well as always a lot of people commented on the same. Some I agreed and some I disagreed which is always the case. Anyway it so happened that someone made a disaparaging comment about my city and I obviously wanted to comment. So here I got onto chat, and before I knew it, it became a personal attack, to the extent that I was not even allowed to say a word. If I said anything,it was misconstrued in the most amazing way and the point was hammered so many times, that one lost the entire reason for the conversation and it went into a different direction. Well after a couple of minutes I obviously did the next sensible thing to do and just ignored the conversation and actually had a good laugh with another friend who was online who was following the chat with me. But the entire conversation got me thinking, why is it today that debates are no longer reigned within the limits of a debate. Why are people so scared of their point of view being unaccepted that they are ready to rave, rant and go to any low heights as possible? Is winning so important? Or have we reached a stage where intolerance rules.
One of my friends in FB is a staunch communist and she often makes various postings on FB regarding how anti communist forces in West Bengal and India are destroying the country and how communism is the best philosophy to follow. Now I disagree with some of her views and agree with some. Of course when I disagree I give my reasons for the same and vice versa. But what amazes me is the way the comments from the readers flow in any of her discussions. I can accept that one is passionate about what one says and believes in, but I am amazed why people are not ready to listen to another point of view? And when one sees ones point being diluted in the barrage of comments, the comments invariably more often than not become personal. Or otherwise they start screaming and hammering away to glory so much so, that one forgets that one is in a civil society. Internet being an unmoderated medium this becomes even more easier.
If one follows debates on various television channels where one political party is pitted agains the other, the same rule follows. Firstly most debates on TV which involves the politcal class are always so divided and polarized that one rarely gets to hear the true story. Secondly with most speakers who come on TV (there are some good political orators but they generally choose to stay away) its always an extremist point of view that they carry and for them the one point agenda is not to defend their theory but to belittle one’s opponent. In that effort most of the politcal class usually catch hold of the most inane points in the opposition’s topic of conversation and misinterprets it in such a wonderful fashion, and then repeats it so many times that one forgets the real reason for the debate. And if one finds onself in the receiving end of the debate, or losing as one would say, the voices of the loser becomes shriller and louder to the extent that he / she feels that the best way to win a debate is to stop the other one from being heard – decency be damned. Logic and any form of evidence more often than not takes a back seat and all one gets in the end is a shrilly discourse where one hears nothing except some pathetic personal attacks and a loud cacophony of noises. What is worse is that the so called moderator or the anchor of the show actually encourages that cacophony, so much so that at the end of the debate the viewer not only remains uneducated about everyone’s point of view but also needs to clean his ears lest he turned deaf.
One of the most debated topics in India of late have been the Nuclear Deal. I am sure the most of us did follow the same specially on the day the parliament moved the motion of confidence against the Government. The parliament debated over the topic for over 6 hours (a record of sorts since they never work so long but thats a different topic) but tell me honestly how many of you even remember a single debate except the one Rahul Gandhi and Omar Abdullah made. I don’t. And I will tell you why I remember Rahul Gandhi’s speech. After ages I heard a politican who did not feel the need to belittle another party and rather paid respect to all saying all is equally concerned about India. He did not need to scream cause he knew his content made sense. But still no one learns.
In the last two parliamentary elections the BJP lost. Among the many reasons attributed to their loss, I feel one of the reasons they lost is that they forgot that a democracy is a fight for different schools of thought and not of different individuals. At least in urban india one would like to hear a debate on how they different. Their fight in the 2004 elections was anti Sonia and 2009 concentrated on being anti Manmohan. None of their debates had any concrete topics and solutions to the many problems India faces today but just personal attacks. Most of their debates especially if the panelists included people from the RSS was always about a personal attack. They lost the first time and yet refused to learn and fell again. Hopefully this time they wil  learn. Of course I don’t mean congress is any better. They usually have a little more smarter people who come for the debate and hence their tactic more often than not, when they have nothing to say is to catch the most insignificant statement that the opposition makes and keep repeating it so many times, that one ends up discussing a topic completely different from what one started with and before you know it, the time is up. But the best of the lot I find is from TMC and certain marxist leaders. They usually start the debate with screaming and shouting and throw up insignificants points in the air, which have no relevance with the topic and hope that the chaos created by them confuses the audience enough to forget the topic of discussion. Logic and proofs be damned.
I am deliberately avoiding putting up any examples for the above as there are so many that even my debate will lose its relevance. But there is one which I have to point out and I feel its enough to drive home my point. Sometime back in NDTV there was a discussion on Mayavati’s statue building efforts. Now among the panelists was a gentleman who was speaking for Mayavati and her spend. Failing to justify it under any circumstance he came up with this bizarre explanation which flumoxxed everyone. He said that statue building of elephants was to bring in the plight of elephants being killed in India, and since India was racist they were more bothered about the diminishing number of tigers in the country than elephants, who he felt was a sign of dalits. Now in that one swift move he managed to turn the topic of discussion to something completely different and confused the entire panelists to think the discussion was on racism and saving the elephants. Much as I laughed during the debate I feel more often than not today debates are reduced to the same. Create a confusion, rave, rant and in the end ensure people don’t get to hear any opposing thoughts.
When I was a kid and I used to get angry with my people for not agreeing to something I said, I used to scream. Ma always said something, which then I did not understand but today I do. She used to say when you are right your content will do the convincing. Raising your voice only shows how hollow your viewpoints are cause you feel only by shouting you can win. More often than not, your opponent just gives in cause he/ she feels intimidated by you. I guess today we have become so intolerant across all spectrums of life, that we cannot tolerate any other school of thought which contradicts ours. Hence instead of talking sense, we end up just mud slinging each other and screamig.
I am someone who really enjoys a healthy debate, if for nothing else but to make my grey cells ticking. Hence like old times, when debates used to end with the moderator asking all in favour vote aye…i say all in favour of the old form of debate coming back please vote aye…I FOR ONE CERTAINLY VOTE AYE…